Networking With Confidence by Ali Hendry (she/her)

What emotions come up when you think about networking? Perhaps it is fear. Or the awkwardness of feeling you have to sell yourself. And yet networking is a streamlined way for people to learn about your product, especially if you are your service.

As a holistic life coach, I know potential clients are assessing who I am as well as how I can support them. This means feeling ready to be my authentic self when talking about my business. Everyone has the ability to network with confidence, and here are some ways to support you.

PREPARATION

One Word Sentence

Prepare a succinct sentence describing what you do. This can be tricky for us multipassionistas with fingers in many pies! I could describe myself as a holistic life coach, relationship coach, coach trainer, DEIJB consultant, public speaking trainer, author, podcast host, magazine columnist, TED Talk Speaker.

I feel exhausted just writing the list! Keep it simple and choose one area relevant to the event you are attending. The other wonderful things can come out later. You may want to have a business card or QR Code that outlines all the things.

Suggested formula:

I support (type of client)

Who wants (what I help with)

By providing (what I do)

This comes out as:

I support LGBT+ folk who want help with their romantic relationships, by providing individual, duo and group coaching sessions.

Confidence

As part of your preparation, think about what brings you into your powerful self. This could be what you wear, how you carry your body, and what grounding techniques you use.

Clothes

What kind of clothes make you feel comfortable and happy? Do not wear an outfit or footwear for the first time to a networking event, go with tried and tested clothes. Check out the networking event’s website to get a sense of what people wear, or there may be guidance in the joining instructions. The time of day can also determine what people are likely to wear.

Body Language

You have probably “faked” confidence in the past and that is absolutely fine! I use a grading system to assess where I am at and where I want to be, with One being low confidence and Ten being high confidence. I tune in to the number I am feeling, choose the number I want, and set an intention to reach it. Honestly, this mindset stuff works, and you probably did it at your last

job interview by entering the room with verve and an open smile rather than scuttling in with your head down. When you strive towards a higher number, the people around you treat you at that level and you grow into feeling it.

Mind/Body Connection

When we feel afraid, our central nervous system goes into overdrive. We need to signal to our body that we are safe. Choose one of the following* that aligns with you:

· Repeat a mantra such as: I am safe, I am loved.

· Squeeze and relax different parts of your body.

· Find one thing to focus on for ten seconds for each of your five senses.

· Breathe in for the count of five and out for the count of seven.

· Outstretch your arms and lean forwards while pressing your hands against a wall.

 *I acknowledge some suggestions come from an ableist viewpoint.

ACCEPT AND BUILD

This methodology is used in improvisation and is a fabulous way to live life! Accept what is happening right now and build on it by bringing in fresh ideas. The sentiment is a great way of getting unstuck.

We can use the same format while networking. Accept what the person has said and build on it by sharing something relating to your experience. This is also called linking, where you align part of your story with theirs. For example,

Networker: I did a TED Talk last year, it was one of the scariest and most rewarding things I’ve ever done.

You: That sounds amazing, I think I would be scared too. I find running work meetings scary and rewarding. We had one last week looking at ways of improving our allyship practices.

Validate what they have said and add in something relating to you. This provides a hook for them to build on with their next question or comment.

QUESTIONING SKILLS

Under pressure we default to closed questions, it is a human quirk. Be mindful of this and find a way to remember to ask open questions. Perhaps write some questions in the notes on your phone and look at them just before going to the event.

Closed Questions: Do you, Have you, Did you

Open Questions: What, How, When, Where

And let’s think of some more interesting ones than What do you do? or Where do you live? How about:

· What lights you up with your profession?

· What inspired you to come here today?

· What has been your career journey?

SUMMARY

We can put pressure on ourselves to be the most interesting person in the room. How about being the most interested person in the room. Focus on forming meaningful connections and the conversations will flow. Putting in the preparation will help calm the nerves and, in time, you may even start to enjoy networking!

Who is Ali?

Ali Hendry (she/her) is a Certified Holistic Life Coach (PCC) working with individuals, duos and groups. She specialises in Relationship Coaching, DEI Consultancy, and Public Speaking training. She is an ICF mentor and supervisor. Ali is a Relationship Columnist for DIVA Magazine, the largest global LGBT+ women and non-binary publication and hosts the Relationship Room on podDIVA and IG LIVE. She is co-host on the podcast Lov3 Across the Pond and a TEDx Speaker: Survivor’s Guide to Jealousy. Contact: www.alihendry.co.uk | @alihendrycoaching | https://linktr.ee/alihendrycoaching

Special Offer!

Ali is launching a new course for those who dream of doing a TED Talk, and there are three half-price places available to Proud Wellness members. More information here: Your TED Talk: Making it Happen | Ali Hendry or email [email protected]